Baby if you give it to me, I'll give it to you, as long as you want...

So, yeah it's been a while, over a year, since I last posted anything one here which probably means no one even goes on here anymore but it's good for letting my feelings out I suppose. Things get harder the older you get, everything that seemed like the end of the world when I was younger just seems so much more trivial. I hate having to worry about money and food and washing and cleaning and living and surviving let alone uni and then worrying about boys on top of that is just frustrating. Being a slut helps with that for a while but then I just felt kinda empty and unloved which isn't fun but I guess I brought that upon myself. Now I don't even know what's going on with my life, I find it so hard to tell if people care about me the same that I care about them. Although I'm definitely an outgoing guy, I'm just not the guy that can bring up issues defining a relationship as a relationship or even anything related to feelings and closeness. I guess I just hate the thought of possibly being rejected. But as soon as you have that deal with suddenly other guys just appear from nowhere wanting to get with you. Which is typical. I mean, where were they when I was single and having fun? Obviously they turn up when I'm in a state of confusion and I don't even know where I'm going with this or what I'm doing with my life. Why can't we go back to simpler times like in primary school? Meh.